TheOne

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I reread all of my Exclusivity posts and made a few tweaks to many of them.  Bessie Coleman was not included in the original version.  This pioneering woman was determined to fly and perform stunts on airplanes when very few people on the planet could conceive of doing such things.  When the opportunity to achieve her dreams was non-existent in Texas, she moved first to Chicago, then to Paris, France for flight and performance training.  Bessie would not be restricted by the times, her race, or her gender.  Permission or support from the general population was not something she waited to receive.  We can take a page from Miss Coleman’s passport and go to places we’ve never been.

Fear Of Missing Out

Whether your singleness is for a lifetime or a season, we all need to enjoy our own company.  This also goes for married folk  That may mean going places solo.  Have you ever skipped an opportunity for fun or enrichment just because you didn’t have anyone to go with you?  If you have, did you wonder, what or who did I miss?  Was a potential friendship or romance thwarted because you were afraid to go alone or to be perceived as lonely?  Remember being alone does not equate to loneliness.  We spend far too much time reading other people’s minds.  We think that they are looking at us thinking, “Look at that poor pitiful child over there.  So sad that she has no friends.  Don’t nobody like her.”  We assume they are STH (shaking their heads) on our behalf.  The people at the places are enjoying themselves, not analyzing our status!

Adventure Time

Because I have the luxury of being responsible for only myself, I can be spontaneous.  It is nice to have company along for the ride.  But, if an opportunity comes up and my friends have other plans, if I really want to go, I do.  There are times when I am more adventurous than others.  My rule of thumb is for daytime trips, activate the GPS.  For nighttime excursions or to unfamiliar destinations, take a buddy.

When you go with friends you tend to spend the majority of the time talking to them.  If others converse with you they may do so within the context of the group.  As a courtesy, you don’t ignore the folk(s) you came with.  I am not the most outgoing person so going someplace by myself encourages me to reach out and initiate a conversation with others.  Before I know it my focus shifted from how I came by myself to how glad I am that I didn’t let an empty passenger seat keep me at home.

 Iyanla Vanzant’s advice to single women includes doing things with girlfriends. I would take that advice further.  We should not stop going places, doing things, or expanding our horizons just because no one else can or will accompany us.  Don’t limit yourself by waiting for someone to ride shotgun. 

Free To Move About The Country

I have been contemplating exploring new places to enlarge my horizon.  Throwing out the net will gain more acquaintances and perhaps friends.  There are people out there who have the same interests and have already done things that I want to do and have been to some of the places I want to go and vice-versa.  I might also meet someone who has lived a fascinating life and is doing things that I have never even imagined.  To find out who and where these people are, I will need to fire up the plane a little more often.  Who knows, one day I might fly solo to new places across the USA or even abroad. 

Where have your adventures taken you? Did you go with your girls, family, or solo? Share it in the comments.